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25/07/2008: "LOSING THE PLOT? ...... Giant Groper vs Blue Groper (satire)"
The Giant Blue Groper is a tropical terror that has been known to swallow divers whole.
Especially vulnerable are pearl divers working the murky waters off Broome, West Australia.
In USA these fish are known as groupers due to their habit of swimming in groups of four or more.
This great fish feeds like a vacuum cleaner.
They wait out of sight in underwater caves and then dart out to suck up unsuspecting prey, and divers.
Scuba divers stand a better chance of survival if they keep breathing and don't faint from shock.
Eventually the exhaust bubbles being exhaled will tickle the throat of this giant creature causing it to hick-cough and spit-out the intended victim.
Often caught with explosives, (which is illegal due to damage of surrounding corals and small fish) but authorities seem to tolerate the form of capture for several reasons.
There is no waste with this species as every portion has an essential use from being an ice cream thickener (no milk required), cordial coloring, growth enhancer for chicken farms, antibiotics for beef herds, felt tip pen inks, drain cleaners, eye drops and contraceptives.
Unfortunately the fish are slow growing, an adult requiring between two and three hundred years to reach maturity.
The declining population world-wide presents serious problems and the day may not be too distant when other sources for the products will need to be found.
The value of the fish per kilo is pegged at ten times that of West Texas crude per barrel.
Footnote: "Save the Giant Blue Groper" fund accepts donations gladly and can be contacted via me.
(They have a party every Saturday).
Footnote: SnappperGonza is confusing habits of the Giant Queensland groper with the southern blue groper a much smaller and harmless fish.
The deliberate confusion is sufficiently entertaining to warrant this posting.
